Yest morning i was in a happy mood to office till a phone call, im from happy to want to cry. This is because my 'kei ma' told me that grandma condition getting worst now. When i heard it, i just had kind of weird feeling, undescrible feeling like want to cry but cant cry also. So, i just try to control myself since im in the office. When my colleagues were discussing about tonight steambot plan, my cousin called me and we think back the last few weeks when we were chatting with grandma and grandma asked me faster get marry and give birth because she so wanna to see my future husband and baby. At that moment, although my office got a few people but yet i can't control my tears anymore, a few drops of tears came down and i faster try to stop chat with my cousin since i don't want let them know i cried. At that morning, i don't have mood to eat or drink anything also and so since morning till lunch, i just drank plain water. Till lunch time, my buddy asked me to have lunch and so i followed. But during the lunch, i felt quite sad and disappointed because i like being abandoned, they had their own chatting except me. Most badly is my buddy also like that. Haizzzz...my mood already very very sad and being treated like this make me felt even worst. May be she didnt feel that im in sad or her observation really so weak. May be is my observation too good and so cause me feel very disappointed at the moment for being treated like that.
But at night, after work, we went to sing k which we planned earlier. I felt very happy overthere, during that 3 hours, my mind like free from problem and just enjoy myself to the fullest. The most happy was we ended our sing-k section with a very very very long CNY song. Hahaha...this is the first time i sang CNY song during sing-k. Really make me got the CNY mood at that moment!!!
Recently like too many things happen and so cause me whenever i want to be happy and don't think for something but yet just the next day sure got something happen and cause me cant happy anymore. May be is because when im small, everything run so smooth and good and so now when grow up, i felt so fustrated with all the problem happened around me. And now, i really feel that being a child is the best in my life because no need think so much and can be so happy and free.
p/s: Im glad that my grandma now still in stable condition. Thanks for everyone especially my besties for asking her dad to pray for my grandma as well. Hope everything will under control.
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