Tuesday 31 January 2012

Goodbye!!!

This morning woke up earlier to pay our last respect to our dearest grandma. And also let me feel that to say 'hi' is such an easy job but yet a 'bye' is such a difficult word to say out. It really need courage to do so. Frankly to say actually in these two weeks, i just like follow everything that said but without my soul. I still cannot really accept what had happen for last week. In a week, i lost both lovely and dearest 3 kao fu and grandma. Last night went to buy groceries with family, when i saw those people sat on the wheel chair, just let me think back the time i brought 3 kao fu to shopping. Every single things, words, food will just let me think back the time with them. Arghhhhhhhhh...i so wanna run to a beach and scream loudly and let me have some peace moment to think clearly what had happened now!!!

Monday 30 January 2012

A Day Without Soul!!!

Yesterday i was totally lost. It just like physical appearance but without soul. But yet i still try my best to concentrate. One thing i happy is that a few of us chatting last night. I really very happy that we can chat and share. Although it is very tiring since we slept for 2 hours only but yet im happy to have such warm chatting. I really don't know when have this moment again in the future.

p/s: These few days let me really understand the sleepy feeling while driving. Just like today, i really fall asleep and is really slept for few seconds. Wow, gan jeongnya!!!

Saturday 28 January 2012

Forever Love!!!

During this CNY - dragon year which is my year but yet is the most sad and tough year for my whole family. Throughout the CNY, we visited our grandma in hospital everyday. And was almost every morning, we received a call that grandma in critical and asked us faster rush to hospital. Until the third day, we received a call also but this time not just about grnadma condition but also 3 kao fu condition. We were told that he was admitted to hospital and he was in critical condition that his liver static already. And so because of grandma condition, we hope to let him talk to grandma and never think that the every single words he said out will be the last word for us to listen to. At first, we planned go to KL on the next day early morning to see him but in the early morning, i received miss call and sms from my cousin. When i saw the message that ask me to call her back as soon as possible, in heart i know must be something wrong but never expect that is such a bad news. After that, i faster contact the others and then we continued our plan to go there earlier.

Dear 3 Kao Fu,
I really very glad that i had given the chance to spend more time with you in these few years. Still remember when i small, i very scared of you because you look very strict and fierce until i came to KL to continue my degree, i had given the chance to know you more deeply and close with you. During the time stay in your house, i really very appreciate and treasure every moment spent time with you, went around with you, chat with you, the guidance you gave to me and etc. Dearest 3 kao fu, may you happy and have joy in the other world there. And since one of your wish is to see grandma, i think now you can reunion with her in the other world.



When we were attending wake service of 3 kao fu on friday night, we received a call that my grandma passed away. And so we need to rush back to Ipoh, we can't attend his cremation funeral on saturday. But i do know he will understand us and he will always stay in my heart forever and ever.

Dear Grandma,
You were the grandma whom i most close with. Last time, every saturday we would come down to chat with you, went around with you, share with you, played cards with you and etc. In my mind, i will never forget the time and the way you laugh when i joking. Ur smile is so cherish and cute. Sometimes, you even laughed till eyes got red also. I very treasure the moment together with you especially just the days before you went into critical condition, im glad that i managed chat with you and also recorded ur sweety voice. During our conversation, you always asked me when to get marry, and asked about my future and that conversation now had became the last words you said to me. Dearest grandma, may you have joy and happy in the other world. You will alaways stay in my heart forever and ever.

Lovely and cutie grandma!!!<3







In these few days, i really very very tired whether physically or mentally. Sometimes, i so hope to have someone there for me to share with but it seems no one can be. At first, i thought you are the one i can share with but actually is not so. Especially that day, i really total disappointed on you, i really never expect that you want to ask me about that. I'm wondering you always said how good or what but yet all just in words and no action. Sometimes i just think that if i am you, i know my friend in such situation, i will very care for her. I don't know, may be you really not used to do so. During this period, i really really very sad and sometimes just have a feeling to give up. I really feel very tired, don't know why there are so much bad things happened around me this year. Am i really not deserved for it???



My lovely 3 kao fu and me!!! <3







Cutie 3 kao fu and mummy!!!<3






Sunday 22 January 2012

First Day in Dragon Year!!!

Today is the first day of Dragon year and now is the early morning of chu 1. Last time i heard my mum said got some people believed that if the children don't sleep at the night of CNY eve can help parents to have longer life. I don't know whether is true or wrong but just let me have the feeling to believe and so tonight i plan not to sleep but i don't know i really can do it or not since now i very sleepy already. My mum also not yet sleep until now, i don't know is it she also hope to do so for grandma. Anywhere, i just hope in this dragon year, everything and everyone goes well!!!=)

Reunion Dinner!!!

This is the first time we had such simple and fast reunion dinner because of some problem. I really can understand how everyone felt when they received the call. I also know that everyone almost want to cry out but just they try to control themselves especially my mum. While helping her to prepare for the dinner, i know she trying her very best. Anywhere, we can't do anything but just can depend on Buddha to decide it.

p/s: Hope all my lovely family can be tough and strong enough to come through this especially my mum!!! May her blessed with healthy and hapiness always!!! <3

Saturday 21 January 2012

Gold Dragon Year 2012!!!^^

Today i really can felt the changes. The changes to good, to be better!!! Although the beginning of 2012 many things happened and is happening now also but yet for myself, i determined to make some changes. The most important is i don't want let myself influenced by all these problems anymore. And so start from now, i want to be the brand new of me!!! Words for myself in this Dragon year is cheerful, tolerate and be patient!!! And i want learn to be not so care but love myself, family and buddies more!!!

p/s: Happy Chinese New Year to all my dearest family, friends and everyone there!!! May all of us stay happy, healthy and wealthy!!! I love you all forever and ever!!!<3

Thursday 19 January 2012

A lonely night!!!T.T

Tonight really let me feel that i very lonely. At the time i need someone badly but no one is there for me. When i crying and hope for someone to care and hug but no one is there for me. This is the first time really let me have such feeling. Now i do know how hurt and sad the feeling is and let me realized all that is just rubbish!!! Got how many people will really do it?? I really very hope got friends like in the song that i can count on them when need them but it seems not many will really do it. But at the same time, i try to think on the other side, i really strongly feel that i will accompany my friend if i know she is sad and need me. Tonight i really cant control my tears anymore, it just cant stop and keep on pouring down. It just like keep inside for too long time and so now all come out together. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Moreover, don't know why my wound bleeding tonight. Haizzzz...I really need someone to hug me tightly!!!

p/s: Really thanks to my lovely buddy for willing to chat with me!!! <3

Wednesday 18 January 2012

什么是朋友?

什么是朋友? 朋友,就是能包容对方的人。无论对方向他开了多大的玩笑,对他说了什么逆耳的语言,他都会向对方报以微笑,最多,也只是报以幽默的话语。

朋友,就是能帮助对方的人。如果对方有什么缺点,他都会给对方指出,并帮助对方改正缺点。

朋友,就是能接受对方指点的人。不管对方会向他提出怎样的缺点,甚至批评,他也会高兴地接受,并认真地改正缺点,完美自己。

朋友,就是会珍惜友谊的人。他会尊重对方,决不勉强对方。对方高兴,他也会很开心;对方伤心,他会安慰对方,决不落井下石,幸灾乐祸。朋友,就是正直的人。在邪恶面前,他绝对不会畏缩不前,也绝对不会躲藏,而是会伸张正义,将邪恶压倒。
朋友,就是不怕困难的人。在困难面前,他绝对不会害怕,也绝对不会逃避,而是会勇敢地克服困难。

朋友,就是会保护对方的人。无论发生了什么事情,他都会奋不顾身地挺身而出,为对方付出一切,甚至生命。

有的人认为,只要肯和自己吃喝玩乐的人,就是朋友。其实错了。

人人都 离不开友情。人生在世,是离不开朋友,少不了朋友的友谊和支持。所谓,“近朱者赤,近墨者黑”,一个人的朋友如何,对自身的发展往往起很大作用。这是一种 看不见的 1潜移默化,熏陶感染的力量。可见,如何认识和选择朋友,是十分重要的。所以我们必须与正直、讲信用、有学问的人交朋友,会得益非浅;与那种 2献媚奉承、心术不正、华而不实的人交朋友,会带来坏处。中学生正处于情感丰富、爱冲动的年龄,千万不要一时冲动,或碍于情面,或为了“义气”,去做那些 不该做的事。结交什么样的朋友,必须慎重。

当我们 经过审慎的选择而寻找到了自己的朋友之后,如何确保彼此关系的和谐而健康的发展是大有讲究和学问的。首先,我们必须以心换心多交朋友。跟人交朋友得用自己 的“心”去换取别人的信任,使对方知道你是他的好朋友,真朋友,贴心人。这样他才能无顾忌的把“心”献给你,从而达到“以心换心”成为心心相印的好朋友。 对待朋友之间的意见分歧,即使受了冤枉,也要宽宏大度。可通过交换意见来 3澄清是非,达到和解的目的。

交友贵在真诚。让我们多交朋友,善交朋友吧,这样,你就会像一只自由的小鸟,愉快地翱翔在幸福的蓝天中。


pic 3 
 p/s: Totally agree with this article!!! This is what truth fren for!!! Thats why when i really take someone as best friend, i will treat them even better than to myself. Hahaha...
 

Life full of uncertainty!!!

In these few years especially last year, i learn that life is full of uncertainty. Since small, i just need pay attention on study and everything just went well for me. Until these few years, i face lots of problem whether in friendship, working or life. I found that everything can just happen in one minute or should be one second also. Since after form 6, my life just like started to change or should be said i started to grow up. First is friendship, second is i need to choose course for my degree and scholarship, then is working problem. After that, is family health problem.

Recently, i got relationship, friendship, work and family health problem. The worst is they like all come together or like in a sequence. Just when i settle one thing and know that i must be happy but then sure got something happen here and there. Haiz...cause me become even more sad. But i think because of too much uncertainty and so now i like immune already. Just like today, because of i can't online in the office for a few hours and so let me can think clearly those problem. And so finally let me think clearly for the friendship problem. I found that may be is i too concern, think too much and so make me have that feeling. And so now i decided i don't want to be like that anymore!!! I should not so care and also think so much!!! And im sure being like this will let me feel better and happy.

For the other problem, i decided don't think so much also since everything is out of my control now. So i should stay happy and live happily. Don't chase for the problem but yet wait for the problem to come by itself just like what happening now. Just like what my cousin husband said 'take them as patient, then we will not angry with their behaviour, we will be neutral and also will forgive them'. And so for myself, im a patient actually and should be said every member in my family are patient now, we all mentally and psychologically sick. Just like when i know my grandma in critical, i so want to go back home but at the same time i need think of the leave problem. May be for some of them feel that leave is not a big deal, but for me, i can't take leave simply because i don't want let my boss feel like im that kind of 'lazy' employee since my situation so different from them. I just can take leave when really very emergency. Just like if i take emergency leave on monday but actually my grandma getting better till now, then how should i tell my boss??? For my uncle case, i really feel tired with the whole family, i don't know why a family can become like that?? I don't know why a daughter can just went and visited his father for only 10 minutes??? What happen to them?? What are they thinking?? I do know my uncle behaviour really not good but since now he admitted to hospital, is it you can stay longer a bit?? Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anywhere, i think i really had done my best already. What others think and do just let them be. From now, i don't want care anymore!!! And i must face every problem happily and not sad. I want become the real of me that keep in bottom of the heart since form 6. Hahahaa...sound like scary..lolz..

p/s: Just hope everyone stay happy and healthy!!! ^^

Tuesday 17 January 2012

My Mind!!!

These few days my mind just always appear something that undescrible, weird and uncertain. I really can't figure it out what exactly it is but just know got something. I felt so tired with these!!! Sometimes i really hope to know am i too concern them and so now become like that??? Am i think too much already??? Is our friendship had changed??? Why it seems different since we first met till now??? I don't know, but i do hope to have an answer from you......

Hapi Reunion CNY Dinner!!!^^

Tonight i felt very happy. This is because tonight is the first time let me feel that the people in this office can be so fun, good and integrated. All the while i just hope to see them to be like that and tonight i saw it. For me, i always think that working not just for money but the process also very important. When you wake up every morning and feel sad once think that you need go to work, then what for??? I don't know how other people think, but for me, it is very important to enjoy while working. May be because during my internship, the culture is so good and happy and so when i came here, i so wanna to change the culture here. I really hope to see everyone enjoy and happy. I really hope after tonight and the two people leave, this office will become more and more friendly, nice and happy. Although i don't know next time will i still be here, but i do hope they all will continue with this culture since everyone are Chinese and so should be much more fun.

p/s: May all my colleagues stay happy and healthy always!!! Happy Chinese New Year in advance!!! ^^

Monday 16 January 2012

Down and Up!!!

Yest morning i was in a happy mood to office till a phone call, im from happy to want to cry. This is because my 'kei ma' told me that grandma condition getting worst now. When i heard it, i just had kind of weird feeling, undescrible feeling like want to cry but cant cry also. So, i just try to control myself since im in the office. When my colleagues were discussing about tonight steambot plan, my cousin called me and we think back the last few weeks when we were chatting with grandma and grandma asked me faster get marry and give birth because she so wanna to see my future husband and baby. At that moment, although my office got a few people but yet i can't control my tears anymore, a few drops of tears came down and i faster try to stop chat with my cousin since i don't want let them know i cried. At that morning, i don't have mood to eat or drink anything also and so since morning till lunch, i just drank plain water. Till lunch time, my buddy asked me to have lunch and so i followed. But during the lunch, i felt quite sad and disappointed because i like being abandoned, they had their own chatting except me. Most badly is my buddy also like that. Haizzzz...my mood already very very sad and being treated like this make me felt even worst. May be she didnt feel that im in sad or her observation really so weak. May be is my observation too good and so cause me feel very disappointed at the moment for being treated like that. 

But at night, after work, we went to sing k which we planned earlier. I felt very happy overthere, during that 3 hours, my mind like free from problem and just enjoy myself to the fullest. The most happy was we ended our sing-k section with a very very very long CNY song. Hahaha...this is the first time i sang CNY song during sing-k. Really make me got the CNY mood at that moment!!!

Recently like too many things happen and so cause me whenever i want to be happy and don't think for something but yet just the next day sure got something happen and cause me cant happy anymore. May be is because when im small, everything run so smooth and good and so now when grow up, i felt so fustrated with all the problem happened around me. And now, i really feel that being a child is the best in my life because no need think so much and can be so happy and free.

p/s: Im glad that my grandma now still in stable condition. Thanks for everyone especially my besties for asking her dad to pray for my grandma as well. Hope everything will under control.

Friday 13 January 2012

Answer!!!

Sometimes is good to know the answer but sometimes not really. It is just depend on the person who involved and also how they look at the matter. For me, i always hope to know the answer because i impatient to wait but yet this time i delayed it till today i only try to approach the answer. Actually before that my friends got asked me to get the answer from you but yet im not dare to do so. This is because at that moment i know that actually im not that fond to you until after that, i realized that i more and more attracted by you and so now i have the courage to find the answer from you. Although is hurt but yet is good for us to know it now. At least we still can become best friend. Just like what you said, we don't know how we will be in the future but for sure now we are best friend.

p/s: Just let Buddha arrange how will our life be in the future!!! <3

Thursday 12 January 2012

Lose in both way!!!

Im so sorry to hurt you but actually at the same time, i hurted by someone also. I really don't know what is my feeling to you, may be because we know each other for so many years already and so sometimes i hope to depend on you, i hope to get the care and love from you but i don't know that is just for friendship or relationship. But yesterday when i knew that u sad n hurted by that, i feel sad too. Im so want to talk to you but i scare my action will hurt you more. May be both of us too scare that this will affect our so many years friendship and so this happen. I really very sorry for that!!! =((

Miss you!!!

Tonight don't know why suddenly i miss you so much!!! Am i really fall in love on you already??? Am i make a wrong decision??? Can you tell me how you feel??? Arghhhhhhh!!!!!! =(

Wednesday 11 January 2012

Working Journey...

It is the third month since i started my working life here. At first especially for the first week, it is damn terrible for me because of the environment. But after told one of my colleague there, i felt better and try to be happy although i still prefer to work in Ipoh that time. Frank to say if i didnt know this colleague (act i dont like to call her as colleague cos sound like very far, not close at all...haha), i really can't imagine my working life will be how. I don't know whether i will still continue or not. This is because for me, i don't like to work in such environment that full with politics!!! Anywhere, now all over already!!! Now i learnt to not care and also won't let them influence my emotion. Because i know it is not worth at all!!!

Recently i got a news that my boss want to transfer me back to Ipoh to work. This should be a very happy news for me but don't know why when my colleague told me, i didn't feel happy at all. One of the reason is I miss the life here, that can be so free and can do whatever i want to. Second thing is i will miss my buddy in this office a lot a lot!!! Although we just know each other for about two months, but yet our friendship like had been built for many years already. In these two months, we went to office together, tea time together, sometimes eat dinner together, shopping together, drinking together, watch movie together!!! Wow, like what i said, know and have her this friend is the most glad and valuable thing that i get from here!!! Although my boss still not yet tell me when will be the day, but im sure it is very soon since now like everyone know already!! Haiz, really can't imagine for it!!! Anywhere, i really hope you will be happy to work here after those people left, although just for three years but yet it still a long time so if u can't find ur happiness working here, just u will suffer, no one will pity u de!!! And so is not worth at all for working stuff to influence ur hapiness and so health. My dear, i hope to see the happy of you that ur hapiness really come from bottom of ur heart and not the fake smile that just to cover ur sadness!!!

One more thing is that today i received a call from Shell that offer me a position. But after discuss with my friend, i decided do not accept the offer. I should continue with my job now since im sure after back to Ipoh, i will learn a lot a lot from my lovely boss!!! He really a very very good boss so i should appreciate!!! And since is he who want to employ me, i should not disappointed him!!!

p/s: I miss you!!! =)

Sunday 8 January 2012

Hapi Outing!!!^^

Since we graduated from uni, this is the first time we went out together. Although after we left uni, u did ask me to help u in some activities but yet i can't make it because of some reason until yesterday finally we met again. This is the first time i helped guy to choose shirt, and u taught me how to differentiate between gals n gents shirt n oso gents pants. Haha...n den we went for a movie 'Jack n Jill'..wow, this movie is so nice, so funny!!! We laughed from the start till the end till we said it too short edi the story, if can longer a bit den more nice!! Frank to say i really very hapi yesterday!!! You make my day!!! hehe...hapi chatting with u too!!!

p/s: But too bad u forgot my turkey chocolate!!!! hahaha...do remember that u owe me ya!!! May u have a safe journey back to Singapore later n all the best in ur work!!! ^^

Wednesday 4 January 2012

Burst out!!!

These few days im in a sad mood. Although i know eveything is out of my control actually but i hate these!!! Sometimes i really wondering is it when we had grown up, more and more thing we need to think of?? to consider?? I really feel tired already!!! Till today finally i burst out!!! After work, on the way back home, my buddy n i went to have layer cake. Because she also got her own sadness and so i didnt tell her what happen to me and what is my problem. Until back to home, my another buddy chat with me in fb and she said she very sad and want to cry, at the moment i said if u are here, so good, den we can cry together!!! And at that moment, my tears start to out but then i control myself. After that, we decided to have dinner near my house here. Then, don't know why she just like know that i want to drink chatime bubble tea and so she suggested to continue out second round there. Because im too full already and so i can't finish mine, and so i take away and back home. When reached home, i parked my car further down of my house and i swtiched on the radio loudly to let myself have some silent moment. But in between many people called me but the most make me touched is my best buddy!!! First is my dear jo, she so worried me and so called to make sure im ok, after that, we decided to have dinner together on friday night. After that, is my dear ho fun, when she called and asked me, i cried and im sure she know im crying. After that, my tears just like cant stop but because i need to go into house soon, so i try to control it. After cried, im not feeling well that i quite difficult to breath but im sure will be ok soon.

Sometimes, i just don't know why will become like that??? I really don't know how and i do really feel very very very stress of all these!!! I also a human, i will feel tired as well, can u just please let me cool down??!!!
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i want to sing k!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything will be ok soon!!! Im sure i can do it!!!