Am i right or wrong???

Sometimes when i grow up and up, i feel like i can't differentiate what is right and what is wrong already. Actually i hate the most is people gossiping about others and those close with me also know about it. They know that i don't like gossip just like my rumie had been asked me before why never heard me gossip about others. And so, once i came into this office, those people gossip here and there cause me so dislike the environment here but now i feel like im doing that. Once i know how that people is, in my mind just let me thinking how to help my buddy and so i asked my cousin if got such situation, how to handle it till my cousin so worry and thought is me but then i said not me, then only she feel glad. But she scolded me for care for others since this is none of my business. But yet i really cant ignore it, cos she is my buddy and i hope to help but it seem not so easy to help. And so i decided to tell her what had her head done but then cause her now so angry and just let me feel like i shouldn't do so actually. But if i am her, i very angry also but i will not let them to bully me. If that is my job and i did it, i wont let him to take it for granted. Whether that is small or big task, if im the one who do, i must let my boss know that is i do it and not others. Like this, only fair!!! But for another one, he really too over, he shouldn't told the outsider about that!!! Ishhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! So wanna to scold him for being so busybody!!! Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Really don't know what i did is right or wrong?? I think in some sense is right but in the other sense is wrong.

T.T

What a sad day for me???

I had been long long time didnt been like today. So angry and sad till can cry when driving and drive superb reckless!!!!

An Awesome Friendship!!!

Today is my first time attend such a grand meeting with all the top managements. Im really felt very glad for given the chance to attend and listen how it is. It is really very different from those meeting. It is so awesome, when there are arguement, i noticed that my boss will try to cool down the situation.

Apart from this, i also noticed that the friendship between my boss, Mr Sin and Mr Chong is so good and awesome. The way they treat and talk to each other, really let me realized and believe that a truth friendship really can be built up between colleague!!! Frank to say i also very glad to have such a good friend in this office but sometimes her action do let me feel very sad and disappointed and so i had been wondering is she really take me as best friend??? Moreover, my friend told me before that is better don't be so close with colleague, they said im too good and naif, scare that i will be cheated and hurt one day since they know that i will treat friend better than to myself. But yet i really can't doing so, because i really had taken her as my best friend. From the meeting and what i saw, let me believed that a truth friendship can really be built up also between colleague and so im sure we also can be. Although i don't know what actually you are thinking but i just want to tell you that i had choose to trust you and this friendship earlier since when you gave me the assurance and so i will never change except you did something hurt me badly like cheat me. I really hope that we can be like them in the future if we still work together. Im sure when you saw the situation just now, you will also feel very great and awesome.

人生。。。

人生
它的无常
它的变化
真让我感到害怕
感到恐惧
也让我不知所措。。。

Something meaningful and happy!!!

Opps, forgot to mentioned that finally today i did a meaningful and happy thing!!! After called them for twice, finally i managed to do so!!!

p/s: Tomorrow is grandma 3/7. So sorry that i cant go back and pray but i will pray here. Tonight i misssssss u so much, my lovely and dearest grandma!!! Ur cutie laughter will always in my heart forvever and ever!!! <3

不想长大！！！

人往往就是那么的矛盾。 小时就很希望能快点长大， 当长大了却一直想念着以前小的时候。 我也不例外。 可是， 那全都只能在想像中， 最后还是的回到现实。 经过这几年， 我不能不说我真的长大了， 但有一样是没变的， 每次还得犯同样的错。 直到今年， 也因为太多的考验， 让我不得不改因为我已无法承受了。 可是对我来说的确很难改因为我太重视了。

Gambling Nite!!!

Yesterday after a long discussion, finally we decided to my friend house to have our dinner. After a fast and quick decision, finally we went to a western restaurant. After that, we were busy searching for the poker cards!!! Hahahaha...some funny things happen and we just look like idiot but yet we are actually!!! hahahah...(opps, hope they didnt c this bt i think they don't know de!!) After that, we went to my friend house and start our gambling mission and this is the first day for this dragon year!!! During the gambling time, we laughed and laughed till my face become reddish also. haha...really very happy, long time didnt laughed for so many hours already. Really thanks to my dearest!!! I really appreciate so much!!! You will just always let me feel so touched!!!<3<3<3

Alone!!!

Tonight really a wonderful night for me!!! This is the second time having dinner alone but this time is totally different. This time i decided to read book overthere while having my dinner and so i chose Black Canyon near my house here. May be is my grandma and uncle blessing me, and so once i went inside the parking lot, there were a car out and so i can park just in front the entrance. After that, i walked inside and there were a corner place empty which match with my earlier plan. And so i ordered food and then started my reading mission. Wow, is so good to be alone sometimes!!!

Actually in these few weeks, after so many things happened, i learn a few things. One of them is everything is unpredictable and uncertainty, u really can't expect and also promise anything actually. Second thing is how important and strong when a family unite together. Third is i should not depend on anyone, but just because i also a human being and so i very hope for care and love but i should not put any expectation on it, because everyone is different. Fourth is how important and strong of a Hug!!! A hug without words meant a lot a lot a lot!!! Since i grow up, that day when hug with my dearest cousin, i really can feel how strong it is. Without words, but a hug and cry together is such a powerful message for both of us that we know what it meant.

I really try my very best to be better of me!!! But i do need the strengh especially from Buddha. ^^

My New Life!!!

These few days after back to kl, i try to let myself relax and don't think so much. And so, my besties and i planned go to Tanjung Sepat for a one day trip. This also the first time i can be so brave that i go to a place that i never been there before by just using GPS. Hahahaha...first was went to my besties house in Cheras, i quite lost actually on the way to her house but luckily i still managed to fetch her after almost 2 hour journey from my house to her house. Hahahhaa...i can back to Ipoh actually. After that, we started our journey to Tanjung Sepat. When reached there, we managed found a quite nice place that not so hot and shinny. Since her mum had prepared food for us, so we ate it and chatting overthere. We really chat a lot a lot but for my own problem, i just like can't really say it out, i also don't know why, may be what happened to me had taught me to be tough, to solve the problem myself since although said it out, also useless and pointless. But i myself know that actually i very choosy, i will just share my problem with some certain people but yet always will just let me feel sad and useless.

After that, we went to the nearby resort to have a visit. And the view there really very beautiful and amazing, we took lots of picture overthere. But then, it like want to raining and so we faster go back to car. On the way back, we still thinking what is our programme if raining but luckily it stop already. And so we back to the beach and played with the sand and water before go and take our dinner. Since we searched in the blog that got a place seem like very nice and cheap the seafood, so we try to search for it but in the end, we cant find the one we hope to go but to another place edi. Hahahaha...but so amazing is that this restaurant food very unique and tasty also. This restaurant is facing the beach and also sunset and so i managed to see the sunset while having dinner. Not far from the restaurant, we found the Lover's Bridge and so we went there. Although we don't know why it called Lover's Bridge but yet we enjoy the walking along it. Moreover, that day is 15th of lunar calender that is the 'Chap Goh Mei' and so there were lots of people playing the fireworks, and it is such a beautiful view when look to the sky.

Before back home, we went to a temple and that day also the first day i went to temple during CNY. The temple is so crowded because of the concert having there and i really very enjoy for this one day trip. But yet, i thought go to beach can let me feel more happy but yet is not so. In my mind, i still can't really enjoy and be happy.

Yesterday night, at first my lovely and dearest Ipoh besties planned to have our dinner at Thai food restaurant. But when i reached their house, they said we go sing k. Wow, at that moment, i felt so happy and touched in heart because i know that they want to sing k is to let me feel happy since i mentioned to them before that i want to sing k when im sad. When reached there, i try my best to talk more but yet i just like not so want to talk. But my besties try their best to make me laugh and say out by dancing and make some funny thing overthere. It is such wonderful and amazing!!! I really very touched by their action. Thanks so much my dear!!! Appreciate so much!!!<3<3<3

And then today can be consider that is my first day of work in KL after CNY. Once i reached office, i got so much of work to do and so let me feel so happy and satisfy. Hope in the future, i can be like today, work load continuous to me!!!

p/s: What had happened is already happened. No one can change it anymore and so for us. I just hope that we can be like last time but yet it seems different already. I really feel very sad for our friendship become like now. Im sure you know who i refer to and i don't know what you are thinking. I really very sad for we become like that.

Changes!!!

There are so much changes had happened. Today went to my uncle house, just let me felt so weird, every corner left with his shadow. I know i should not think so much and accept the reality but it really very difficult for me to do so. The reality of losing both lovely family members whom i closed with is really such a difficult thing. In these two weeks, is really hardly for me to describe myself. Every morning just like a robot that without my soul, in myself i know i can't be like that anymore and so im glad to come back to KL earlier so that i can have some personal time to think clearly.

Sometimes i really feel that myself very useless, whether in family stuffs, friendship and also work, i also a loser. Sometimes i feel so lonely, feel that i just alone, no family, no friends, nobody will care for me and understand me. And so, i always so hope to run away from all these, to a place that no one know me, but yet this will just in dream and is very difficult to really have it.

Finally tonight i can be alone in the room, can cry as much as i can. I really feel very tired with all these. So hope i can chat with someone now!!!

First Working Day in Taiko!!!

Today is my first day in Taiko with the employee identity. When i just out from my car, saw my ex-colleague, she so happy to see me. And then went inside the office, those don't know me but yet they greet me and said 'morning!' Wow, so good, this is something that cant find in kl office. After i put my things down, i went to see the lovely boss there, Mr Har...after chatted with him, im feel so great and happy. He really a wonderful boss!!! And he invited me to the tomorrow 'Muhibah' open house which so called as annual dinner. Haha...my day just began with all the happy and wonderful things. I chatted so much with all of them and so happy. And it should be very happy instead but don't know why im not that happy in heart. I just thinking something else inside my mind. Anywhere, it is still a great day to be there and i think today is the working day that i laughed so much and so happy since i started my working life.

p/s: Feel so excited with tomoro annual dinner!!! It should be a great and wonderful day with lots of memories for me before i back to kl office!!!^^