Down and Up!!!

Yest morning i was in a happy mood to office till a phone call, im from happy to want to cry. This is because my 'kei ma' told me that grandma condition getting worst now. When i heard it, i just had kind of weird feeling, undescrible feeling like want to cry but cant cry also. So, i just try to control myself since im in the office. When my colleagues were discussing about tonight steambot plan, my cousin called me and we think back the last few weeks when we were chatting with grandma and grandma asked me faster get marry and give birth because she so wanna to see my future husband and baby. At that moment, although my office got a few people but yet i can't control my tears anymore, a few drops of tears came down and i faster try to stop chat with my cousin since i don't want let them know i cried. At that morning, i don't have mood to eat or drink anything also and so since morning till lunch, i just drank plain water. Till lunch time, my buddy asked me to have lunch and so i followed. But during the lunch, i felt quite sad and disappointed because i like being abandoned, they had their own chatting except me. Most badly is my buddy also like that. Haizzzz...my mood already very very sad and being treated like this make me felt even worst. May be she didnt feel that im in sad or her observation really so weak. May be is my observation too good and so cause me feel very disappointed at the moment for being treated like that. 

But at night, after work, we went to sing k which we planned earlier. I felt very happy overthere, during that 3 hours, my mind like free from problem and just enjoy myself to the fullest. The most happy was we ended our sing-k section with a very very very long CNY song. Hahaha...this is the first time i sang CNY song during sing-k. Really make me got the CNY mood at that moment!!!

Recently like too many things happen and so cause me whenever i want to be happy and don't think for something but yet just the next day sure got something happen and cause me cant happy anymore. May be is because when im small, everything run so smooth and good and so now when grow up, i felt so fustrated with all the problem happened around me. And now, i really feel that being a child is the best in my life because no need think so much and can be so happy and free.

p/s: Im glad that my grandma now still in stable condition. Thanks for everyone especially my besties for asking her dad to pray for my grandma as well. Hope everything will under control.

Answer!!!

Sometimes is good to know the answer but sometimes not really. It is just depend on the person who involved and also how they look at the matter. For me, i always hope to know the answer because i impatient to wait but yet this time i delayed it till today i only try to approach the answer. Actually before that my friends got asked me to get the answer from you but yet im not dare to do so. This is because at that moment i know that actually im not that fond to you until after that, i realized that i more and more attracted by you and so now i have the courage to find the answer from you. Although is hurt but yet is good for us to know it now. At least we still can become best friend. Just like what you said, we don't know how we will be in the future but for sure now we are best friend.

p/s: Just let Buddha arrange how will our life be in the future!!! <3

Lose in both way!!!

Im so sorry to hurt you but actually at the same time, i hurted by someone also. I really don't know what is my feeling to you, may be because we know each other for so many years already and so sometimes i hope to depend on you, i hope to get the care and love from you but i don't know that is just for friendship or relationship. But yesterday when i knew that u sad n hurted by that, i feel sad too. Im so want to talk to you but i scare my action will hurt you more. May be both of us too scare that this will affect our so many years friendship and so this happen. I really very sorry for that!!! =((

Miss you!!!

Tonight don't know why suddenly i miss you so much!!! Am i really fall in love on you already??? Am i make a wrong decision??? Can you tell me how you feel??? Arghhhhhhh!!!!!! =(

Working Journey...

It is the third month since i started my working life here. At first especially for the first week, it is damn terrible for me because of the environment. But after told one of my colleague there, i felt better and try to be happy although i still prefer to work in Ipoh that time. Frank to say if i didnt know this colleague (act i dont like to call her as colleague cos sound like very far, not close at all...haha), i really can't imagine my working life will be how. I don't know whether i will still continue or not. This is because for me, i don't like to work in such environment that full with politics!!! Anywhere, now all over already!!! Now i learnt to not care and also won't let them influence my emotion. Because i know it is not worth at all!!!

Recently i got a news that my boss want to transfer me back to Ipoh to work. This should be a very happy news for me but don't know why when my colleague told me, i didn't feel happy at all. One of the reason is I miss the life here, that can be so free and can do whatever i want to. Second thing is i will miss my buddy in this office a lot a lot!!! Although we just know each other for about two months, but yet our friendship like had been built for many years already. In these two months, we went to office together, tea time together, sometimes eat dinner together, shopping together, drinking together, watch movie together!!! Wow, like what i said, know and have her this friend is the most glad and valuable thing that i get from here!!! Although my boss still not yet tell me when will be the day, but im sure it is very soon since now like everyone know already!! Haiz, really can't imagine for it!!! Anywhere, i really hope you will be happy to work here after those people left, although just for three years but yet it still a long time so if u can't find ur happiness working here, just u will suffer, no one will pity u de!!! And so is not worth at all for working stuff to influence ur hapiness and so health. My dear, i hope to see the happy of you that ur hapiness really come from bottom of ur heart and not the fake smile that just to cover ur sadness!!!

One more thing is that today i received a call from Shell that offer me a position. But after discuss with my friend, i decided do not accept the offer. I should continue with my job now since im sure after back to Ipoh, i will learn a lot a lot from my lovely boss!!! He really a very very good boss so i should appreciate!!! And since is he who want to employ me, i should not disappointed him!!!

p/s: I miss you!!! =)

Hapi Outing!!!^^

Since we graduated from uni, this is the first time we went out together. Although after we left uni, u did ask me to help u in some activities but yet i can't make it because of some reason until yesterday finally we met again. This is the first time i helped guy to choose shirt, and u taught me how to differentiate between gals n gents shirt n oso gents pants. Haha...n den we went for a movie 'Jack n Jill'..wow, this movie is so nice, so funny!!! We laughed from the start till the end till we said it too short edi the story, if can longer a bit den more nice!! Frank to say i really very hapi yesterday!!! You make my day!!! hehe...hapi chatting with u too!!!

p/s: But too bad u forgot my turkey chocolate!!!! hahaha...do remember that u owe me ya!!! May u have a safe journey back to Singapore later n all the best in ur work!!! ^^

Burst out!!!

These few days im in a sad mood. Although i know eveything is out of my control actually but i hate these!!! Sometimes i really wondering is it when we had grown up, more and more thing we need to think of?? to consider?? I really feel tired already!!! Till today finally i burst out!!! After work, on the way back home, my buddy n i went to have layer cake. Because she also got her own sadness and so i didnt tell her what happen to me and what is my problem. Until back to home, my another buddy chat with me in fb and she said she very sad and want to cry, at the moment i said if u are here, so good, den we can cry together!!! And at that moment, my tears start to out but then i control myself. After that, we decided to have dinner near my house here. Then, don't know why she just like know that i want to drink chatime bubble tea and so she suggested to continue out second round there. Because im too full already and so i can't finish mine, and so i take away and back home. When reached home, i parked my car further down of my house and i swtiched on the radio loudly to let myself have some silent moment. But in between many people called me but the most make me touched is my best buddy!!! First is my dear jo, she so worried me and so called to make sure im ok, after that, we decided to have dinner together on friday night. After that, is my dear ho fun, when she called and asked me, i cried and im sure she know im crying. After that, my tears just like cant stop but because i need to go into house soon, so i try to control it. After cried, im not feeling well that i quite difficult to breath but im sure will be ok soon.

Sometimes, i just don't know why will become like that??? I really don't know how and i do really feel very very very stress of all these!!! I also a human, i will feel tired as well, can u just please let me cool down??!!!
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i want to sing k!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything will be ok soon!!! Im sure i can do it!!!