Sleepless Nite

These few weeks, i had a problem especially at nite...tat is i cant slip well...actuali i noe the source of the problem tat is im worry n stress up with my job placement...i really very scare n wori n stress...had been many times when i hope to talk to my frens bt when i click on their name, i juz deleted it cos feel like vry lazy to say out edi...my relatives n parents alwaz ask me on this, alwaz ask me go to taiko n ask the GM...bt they never noe tat actuali i had asked them, juz wat they reply is juz wait...bcos of my sister wan the car bek so nw i nid to buy a second-hand car first..cos if they employ me, i will start work on oct n the area there like quite hard to get public transport n so my mind alwaz thinking sure nid a car if work there..n so my mum asked my neighbour who sell second-hand car to help me find one car n nw we get it n oso bought it...bt tis make me more wori n scare, cos i scare if in the end they dont wan employ me, hw i tell my mum since we bought the car edi...n sumore nw my mum chat wif the aunties about hw to cum bek if work in kl like cum bek wif her son or wat...all these make me more n more stress...i reali vry scare tat they wont employ me in the end, if reali like tat, wat should i do??? arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...please tell me what should i do now?????????i really no more idea on it, find job is still ok for me bt the thing is if they still wan me to wait till sept n no answer yet, den i juz can wait till then...if they employ me, everything settle but if they dont employ me, i nid find job n it is time consuming again...hw many months i nid to wait again???since internship, i edi waste up for almost two months...i reali dont noe how anymore...all these questions alwaz come to my mind when i close up my eyes at nite n so make me cant slip well...reali can be said i never be so stress ever, during uni life, altot sumtimes i stress bt im nt like nw...cos the situation nw is like out of my control, i cant predict on it...bt during uni time, i can presict the result like wat i can get n wat can i do to improve it...bt nw not like tat anymore...im tat type dont like things out of my control, i like the things tat i noe n can predict...really never think tat juz after graduate, i will face this type of problem edi n this reali vry challenge me either mentally or pysically...


During first year, when i accept this scholarship offer, i juz think tat im vry lucky cos can get a job edi once i graduate...i really never think tat all these problem...when saw most of my frens start to work edi, i really feel vry stress n sad cos im still unemployment...n so make me feel tat im vry useless...frankly to say i really vry hope to start work as soon as possible so tat i can let my parents especially my dad stop to work as earlier as possible since he so old edi...this is wat im worried oso...reali duno y, i reali feel tat my gud luck like disappear vry soon...n bcos of tat, i cant plan for my future...nw juz let me feel ta my future full of uncertainty...sumtimes i jz think tat will i unemploy like nw for many years??i noe i think n wori too much, bt i reali cant control, all these problems juz cum to my head...

What i hope now juz gt one thing tat is they will employ me n inform me earlier with the black n white...please!!please!!!please solve my problem earlier so tat i can slip soundly...

WAITTTTTTTT!!!!!!

Recently dont know why in my dictionary always appear this word 'Wait!!!'...this word had make me feel very frustrating and also make me dont know what should i do for the next step...i really very hate this word now...because this word really not match with my principle and style...everyday i try to get myself out from this word but it seems out of my control now...i really dont wan wait anymore, please give me an answer...thanks for who are concern!!!

What should i do???

I really no idea of it. I hope to come out with a good solution but it seems like is impossible. I know tat i considerate too much, i nid to think tis n tat bcos i hope i wont regret with any outcome tat i choose n so nw i choose nt to decide, juz wait n wait...yet i noe it is nt a gud solution bt perhaps it may...i really dont know how, read the news everyday n noe tat the world economy is getting worst n worst nw n so one more thing i worry of...i really duno hw n oso wat should i do...i juz hope God will lead me to a better route so tat i have a bright future...may God bless me always!!^^

Changes...

Since tat day, i hope to have changes in myself...i realized my own weakness n so i try hard to change it...i oso noe tat one thing i muz forced myself to change cos i dont hope it happen once more n so nw may be can consider tat i reali can do it!! anywhere, nw i juz hope in tis coming september will be a great month for me since my birthday fall on sept, my convocation oso fall on tis month n if nothing happen, my offer letter should receive by tis month oso...n so reali can be said tat tis month is an important month for me n oso a turning point for me, afta tis, i reali hope tat i will have a new brand of me n life...im sure will have tis day to come...im waiting!!!