Alone in the house!!!

Today is my first time stay alone in this big house. Actually i really feel very scare since im not brave at all. Nevermind lah, just take this opportunity to let myself think clearly. Recently, i more and more don't know who am i?? I like lost myself already?? I feel very tired, very very tired in everything. I always feel that it is faith for me to know every single person who appear in my life. But yet, there are a few questions appear in my mind. a) Is human being selfish?? b) Is there anyone will take others more important than themselves?? c) What value am i hold on?? Actually the first two questions always told by my friend that every human is selfish. No one will take others more important than themselves but i always do feel that not really. For those i appreciate, i really take the heart to them, i really will always leave those good one to them instead of myself. This is because i think they are worth for it. But i do know that not everyone will like that, when they do something that is hurt, it really hurt. I always feel that there is so much of uncertainty in life. A person may be look good and healthy in this second but may be will die in the next second. I had been asked myself what is the value i been in this world?? But the answer seems like no. In this year, i do feel changes in myself especially my health problem. Before that, i difficult to breath, and then minor gastric and now don't know why my hand keep on shaking these two days. Hope will be ok soon.

Finally exam over!!!

This whole week is really a stressful, tough and tired week for me. This is because i need to sit for the RSPO lead auditor exam. Since last saturday till yesterday, i don't have a day can sleep soundly because of too stress. And so till thursday, i can't tahan already that my head is so pain till i can't stand on it. For the exam, i can't think of it anymore but just pray hard that i can pass it. Got one more thing happen that i think i really think clearly for it. So, let me think clearly of it first la. Feel like very lazy to write blog edi.

顺期自然。。。

有时候，我在想为什么我一些好友不是那么的渴望爱情但也有好友是多么的渴望？？！！ 那天与我的好友谈过有关我的事后，我的确觉得其实我真的不喜欢他，我只是想得到他的关心。不过，从这让我更了解自己了。其实我还是以前的我，喜欢那类型的。。。但最近就总是让我想起他，难道别人所说的最初是最难忘是真的吗？？算了吧，别想了，一切随缘吧！！相信如果有缘的话，一定会遇到那个他的！！！一切顺期自然吧！！！

In dilemma!!!!

I really don't know how!!! First time my heart feel so pain!!! First time i so wanna cry in front of others!!! First time i don't know what to do!!! All because of this is the first time i being cheated by a friend and sumore is a best friend who i so concern and never want to lose!!! I really don't know how to talk to u!!! Frank to tell you that my heart really like broken up since that day i realized that u lied to me, is really broken up!!! This is because i never expect you will be the first friend who lie to me and also never expect you will lie to me on so small thing!!! May be is because of i too concern you and so let me know it!!! And so now i feel so pain!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! What can i do??? What should i do???

Hurt!!!

Is totally hurt!!! I think this is first time i being cheated like that!!! Before that, just had been ffk by frens but this time really superb hurt!!! The time i knew it, i just like can't accept it, and i really can feel how hurt and sad in my heart!!! It like screaming!!! Because i never expect this friend will cheat me like that!!! =(((((((((

Worry night!!!

What i worried all the while happened tonight!!! I really very scare and worry!!! I don't know how but just cried and cried. I really feel very worry and scare!!!==

A nice drama - On Call 36 Hours

Wow, like this drama so much!!! My cousin, my dear ho fun n me wait for the new episode everyday and waiting to watch it once back to home from office. Today episode is so meaningful and also very touching. Got one statement is that "don't ever keep your sickness from your family and also people around you so that they are given a chance to spend more time with you, otherwise if we leave this world suddenly, then at that moment they might can't accept and feel miserable!!!" Yaya, this is really very true but yet i always just can't tell my family when i sick till very serious that need admit to hospital or what, then only i will tell them. This happened to me twice already and had been scolded by my family also but yet i still like that. I also don't know why, sometimes feel that don't want them to worry but everytime will just let them even more worry.

Second statement is that "not everyone once went out from home and can come back home safely, there are some people just leave this world like that and left with lots of regrets!!!" This let me think back and is really very true. Actually life really very simple but don't know why we as human so like to make it complicated. And so, i want live my life meaningfully and wonderful. Although i do know my health getting worst and more worst now but i hope is nothing there!!! I just hope i can live longer than my parents, then i very satisfy already because i really can't imagine how would my parents especially my mum be if i got anything.

p/s: May everyone especially my family and dear friends stay happy and healthy always!!!<3<3<3